An overdue write-up of a test drive I went on in late 2015…

RC

When I was a kid I wanted a remote controlled car. My grandparents bought me a tank. It was simple (but then so was I) and slow (ahem!) but I enjoyed it.

Over the next decade or so I had a 4wd jeep type RC before I got a quick 4wd buggy I had to build myself (which is part of the fun, clearly).

Then at uni a couple of people introduced me to the Mardave Marauder and IC. They were a revelation. The Irvine 25ABC engine I had was massively noisy and much too powerful to be contained by the simple rear wheel drive chassis.

Highly entertaing (its performance would obliterate the Boomerang) but a pain to start. Literally: you held the starter motor in your hand whilst pushing the underside of the car onto a rapidly spinning rubber ring which span the underside of the clutch and thus forced the engine to spin and, eventually, to fire up. The bottom of the car wasn’t smooth. My hand got ripped to shreds

So a couple of years ago, with the big four-oh looming, I started looking at RC again. IC is still going strong (although much easier to start with pull-start engines very popular) but electric drivetrains have come on a treat.

We now have brushless motors. And LIPO batteries. And much smarter ESC’s. The result is >100 amps of power. Couple that to the simplicity (and relative silence) of electricity and you have a winner. LIPO’s need care, for sure, but if you’re sensible you won’t have problems. The Savage XS I have is mind-blowingly quick (the Marauder wouldn’t stand a chance) … in fact although the drivetrain is all-metal the motor is really a bit too powerful as I keep shredding gears … whilst doing wheelies & flips

Not RC

It’s probably obvious by now I like cars. And speed. Full-size ones too.

I’ve been lucky enough to be able to indulge this somewhat and have had some interesting cars over the years.

The MGB GT V8 was the fastest car I could afford to insure as a 21 year old. I loved it despite the twin 6V batteries needing constant attention.

My purple Corrado VR6 was a blast … when it worked. Of the eight months I had it, five were spent in the garage. It had to go.

The Impreza Turbo was a classic of its time and allowed, nee encouraged, you to drive like a hooligan everywhere all the time. I’d’ve lost my license if I’d kept it much longer.

So I got the dream car from my childhood. Well, a modern version of it. The TVR Chimaera 500 was intoxicating. Not only when driven fast but also when burbling along. A fabulous car all round and I adored it.

My current steed (E39 M5) has been the only horse in the stable for coming up on thirteen years.

Why?

Basically because it does everything very well. My wife can drive it without a problem (the clutch isn’t insanely heavy and its traction control is good enough). It swallowed prams and more luggage than you’d expect, can carry five adults when necessary and I (very) occasionally get to hoon it around. We can even whack the family bikes on the back now we’ve had a towbar fitted. It’s all good.

That doesn’t stop me wondering what its replacement may be though.

An Audi RS perhaps. Or a big Merc. The F10 M5 is tempting. But all require non-trivial investment and don’t really change much. Yes they’ve got more power so they’re a bit quicker. But it’s not massively significant. And it’s not like the extra hundred or more horses would be pressed into action very often. A few more toys perhaps. Bah, not worthwhile.

However.

When I read Ashlee Vance’s biography on Elon Musk it got me wondering about a Tesla. I’d seen a couple of articles in the motoring press but nothing had really jumped out at me. Or perhaps I hadn’t paid attention.

Insane mode. What’s that? Ah, they do OTA upgrades for free. Automatically. Finally, someone’s doing it right!

Err, what’s this I hear? An OTA upgrade made the car faster.

And there’s more?! Ludicrous mode (available with some whizzy new fuse) improves acceleration even further. Now I am paying attention.

A quick google throws up plenty of videos pitting Tesla against various supercars. Hmm, a milk float against the brutality of an engine … I can hear what you’re thinking: this is an unfair contest. And you’d be right. The engines stand no chance.

(Actually that’s not strictly true, the Tesla tends to annihilate anything off the line but a lot of supercars overtake it a few seconds later … my guess is around 100mph … but how relevant is that in the real world?)

Now I need a test drive.

Testing

Fortunately Tesla had hired part of a local hotel for prospective customers to have test drives (they don’t have much of a dealer network). So I set the date, sold it to the rest of the family as a trip to the horse equipment shop (Holly had a birthday money shaped hole being burnt in her pocket) with a sideline in car viewing.

With the visit to the horse shop out of the way we trotted off to the hotel. Where the kids said they weren’t interested in looking at the car and so stayed behind whilst the salesman and I had quick run around.

The red P85D (not ludicrous unfortunately) was waiting outside. It’s keyless obviously so after a few minutes going over the massive central display we were off. I took it easy at first. We were in normal mode. It’s a strange thing to drive a car that’s basically silent. But you soon get used to it.

What I think will be harder to get used to is the acceleration. Normal mode is a bit slower than the M5 so nothing of interest to report there. But insane mode (which the salesman soon switched on) is, well, appropriately named. Mash the throttle to the carpet and the car takes off. No wheelspin, no drama. Just faster-than-rollercoaster acceleration.

If I’m honest I need a more in-depth test drive to throw it around a bit as I recall the steering felt a tad light at the end of a hard acceleration run. But it’s the other toys that grabbed me…

For example when we found a traffic jam during the test drive the salesman asked me to take all feet off the pedals. Then he flicked a lever and told me I only needed to steer. Umm, cruise control from zero mph? Yep. Now that is game-changing in London as far as I’m concerned. The car automatically stops when the car in front does (some faith required at first!), and restarts similarly. It’ll accelerate (up to some pre-defined limit, I can’t recall what but presumably it’s user-set and/or speed limit related) and maintain an appropriate gap to the car in front. You just steer.

Or do you? Recently another OTA update has enabled autopilot. So the car will steer for you.

Neighbourly

One of my neighbours has a small collection of fabulous cars. He happened to be backing one of them out of his drive a couple of weeks after my Tesla test drive. An orangey yellow Murcielago SV. Fabulously loud and quite mad. He knows I’m into cars so we have a brief chat from time to time whilst I drool over his toys.

This time I related the story of the SV owner who’d turned up to the Tesla test drive out of curiosity. Curious because a Tesla had blown him away from the lights recently. That’s quite something…

Anyway, my neighbour said he was just off to swap toys and would I like to go out for a quick trip later. In something spectacular. Obviously this required a great deal of thought. A nanosecond later I said yes. The something spectacular was a Carrera GT. Holy smokes.

Several hours later I was settling down to watch the F1 having given up on the idea of the Porsche - I guess he got busy.

Ding-dong.

Ooh. That’s his son at the door with an apology - the Carrera was too difficult to get out of the garage. But. He has brought something else along if I’m interested. Well, I’ve seen some of his other cars. Yes. I’m interested. So we walk up the drive. In the distant gloom I see a car. I ask if it’s an SLR. It is. Wahay.

It was certainly an event. But slightly anti-climactic. Not because it wasn’t the Carrera. But because it wasn’t as quick as the Tesla. Wow.

Decisions, decisions

There are a few flies in this Tesla-flavoured ointment however.

Fly One

Apparently 330 miles is feasible in a Model S on a single charge.

But I suspect that’s in ideal circumstances.

We tend not to use our car that much for local journies - what’s important are the journies to see family & friends. The longest is about 180 miles. Should be simple, right?

But what if I don’t want to stick at 65mph on motorways? Or need the heater. And lights. And wipers. And the radio. They’ll all add up. And what about the effect of traffic jams? Suddenly 330 miles sounds a bit tight.

Sure, there are superchargers around the country. But only one I can see that’s close to the route we take. And what if someone’s already using it? Unlikely perhaps … but what if it’s in a car-park and a non-Tesla user has parked there (my dad’s seen this repeatedly at a local car park)? The 30 minute EV equivalent of a splash & dash suddenly becomes much more challenging especially when it’s ten at night…

Fly Two

Tesla haven’t been around for long so there’s always going to be a concern around their reliability. My guess is most of their customers own more than one car. We don’t. That could turn into an expensive problem.

Fly Three

I haven’t even mentioned the cost. The top-end Tesla is close to Bentley money. And although it’s a great car, it’s no Bentley inside.

Fly Four

Perhaps not even a fly. More a difference. There really is no drama with a Tesla. It’s just mash the throttle and go. Or feather it and go. No wheelspin. No noise. I suspect that’s a fabulous non-problem for an every day car. I can see a time where I have a Tesla for normal use and something slower but more old-skool louder (an Aston? drool…) for fun…

Conclusion

I’m pretty sure our next car will be a Tesla. But perhaps not just yet … let some others prove its reliability and get batteries up to around the 500 mile range (please let the rumours be true!), throw in some more superchargers around the country and it’d be pretty close to a slam dunk for me.

Will it be an S or an X though?!